Saturday, February 23

Starting from Scratch

I'm scrapping my book. Everything, and starting fresh. New sentences. New words. New ideas. I do have some early awesomely edited parts that I'm salvaging but mostly I'm starting new. This time what's different is I'm not turning back.

Today I wrote the outline of my novel. I didn't look at notes or past ideas. I just wrote what needed to happen to carry the story along. Now I'm following that outline and just writing. Not stopping. Ok, I'm going back and editing previous pages and then continuing.

It's not going to be perfect but this way I'm going to quit trying to perfect all the crap I've written in the past. I need the Lord's strength. So much I still need to do. Prayers welcome.

PS: If this blog doesn't make sense it's because I'm totally fried right now and need to go to bed. Goodnight.

Friday, February 8

Finding the Joy in Writing

I have finished through chapter three. Well, sorta. It still needs a lot of editing. I'm trying not to write something that is boring. I'm trying to think, "What will keep me interested?" and write that.

I've lost that inertia from the first idea and inspiration. I'm trying to get it back. Things that inspired the story I'm trying to look into, study, read, understand, and trying to bring the joy of the story back.

It's been a slow process. I'm beginning to think my book won't be finished until my kids move out in 18 years. I just have to keep trying.

I have seriously thought of giving the whole thing up. So much going on and the kids are so young. But every time I give that route serious thought I know I can't. I want to write. I actually love writing. Not just for me but it's another way I can worship God.

Right now it's almost impossible. But if it was easy I guess I wouldn't be working so hard to do it. I'm just learning to grasp the joy of writing again and enjoying my time completing this four year long project. Almost there.

Tuesday, February 5

Stressed Writer

Sorry I've been gone so long. I feel like Bambi one minute and Attila the Hun the next. It's just stress and trying to figure life out. Things should get better this month because my husband will finally have a schedule that doesn't change every six weeks.

I have been writing. I have polished up chapter one a lot and I have been working on chapter two recently. I have been trying to write when I'm mostly exhausted so it's been hard to keep up progress. What I have noticed is my stress level has still been on the high end.

I have been asking God what I'm supposed to do. How can I do anything with this stress holding me back. Then God gives me the brilliant idea to use my stress for good. I'm going to throw my stress into my novel. I mean, my MC isn't doing great either. He's pretty stressed out.

I'm in my MC's head so much I never thought of how my life and how I'm feeling can be translated into my writing.

The idea has given me some hope, so I'm going to grasp onto it. I'm going to get back to writing now. I'll try and post here more frequently as I attempt to finish this novel sooner than later.

Tuesday, January 22

Word Has A Read Aloud Feature

I was trying to fix the word count in my word document when I discovered something pretty cool. Word has a Read Aloud feature. I can sit back and listen to a robot reading my novel to me. It was a great way to edit.

I had written the phrase, "It boosts moral." And while listening to the robot I caught the word and changed it to morale. I don't think I would have caught that one otherwise.

I also caught weird sounding sentences and missing articles and prepositions I thought to write but forgot to type. Really great learning experience today. I feel like my first chapter is finally complete. Time to wrap it up and ferociously edit chapter two.

Monday, January 21

Crazy Life

This has been a crazy month. Lots of changes but the biggest thing out of my control is health. My 9 month old has been sick since January first and this weekend I can finally say he has fully recovered. That being said I have been wanting to get back to my writing and I'm finally motivated to do it. 

Today I have worked on my writing for almost four hours. It feels so great. I have completed chapter one. I have some people to pass it around to read. I will start working on chapter two tomorrow. 

It feels so good to be making steps in the right direction. I know the story. I just have to take those hours and finish it! This is my job. To finish this novel. Whatever time I get from now on is going to writing. 

Let the adventure begin! 

Monday, January 14

2 Hour Challenge Day 10

Sorry for disappearing. It was a tough weekend but things are looking up. I learned that my fatigue didn't come from diet. I shared my symptoms with a friend and she had the exact same issue and stress was the cause.

Be careful, or your hearts will be weighed down with carousing, drunkenness, and the ANXIETIES of life, and that day will close on you SUDDENLY like a trap. Luke 21:31

The moment I learned it was stress life went crazy. My plans for that morning changed from having help coming with the babies to no help at all. Then I listened to my nine months old chest and heard wheezing. Took him to an urgent care and learned he has RSV. (A virus form of a cold found in infants that can lead to worse things if left untreated.) Because of the trip to the doctors I wasn't able to prepare the house for bug spraying. A ton of little things piled up and the stress mounted.

So I did what every stressed person should do. I slept. I told my husband what was wrong and I napped, went to bed early, and slept in. I dropped all extra tasks and focused on the most urgent.

I feel like I have recovered all my energy this weekend. I'm getting back on track with a normal routine. Baby is doing well, toddler is being good, my teaching work is being accomplished, house is getting cleaned, and now my writing is starting up again.

I've had to do a lot of praying and quiet time this weekend. I feel attacked in this New Year. All my plans have been changed by things out of my control. I have given these issues to God and praying for my anxiety to leave.

Cast all your anxiety on Him because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7  

Wednesday, January 9

2 Hour Challenge Day 9

Bad writer strikes again. I thought about writing but it's been tough getting into my early morning routine. I have been feeling very fatigued. Not natural fatigue. By the afternoon I'm exhausted and ready for a nap. I have plenty of water, eaten healthy meals, slept all night, and I haven't exerted myself overly in any way. I drank coffee before teaching today and my mind was awake but my body was shaking from fatigue.

I'm planning on seeing a doctor but I'm hoping to get some bloodwork done before I go in to save time. I think I may be lacking iron, vitamin d, or something in my diet. I don't think this kind of tired is natural.

In the mean time I plan on working on my book more. Hopefully a good routine will stick soon. I'm going to put more effort into getting the time in. I just have to see writing as a way to sit back and relax. Sometimes it is and sometimes it isn't. Hopefully it can be more relaxing starting tomorrow.